Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Sour Grapes of Love: My True Confessions


There are millions of women all over the world today who are wondering, "where is all the love we once enjoyed?" in their love affairs and marriages.Men, who promised heaven on earth to woo their women, now boo them.The honeymoon is over. Finis?The man who was taking you to all the popular restaurants during courtship, now hardly takes you out to even the nearest cafe.When was the last time you took your wife to the beach or to the park?I know a cousin who does not walk with the wife on the street any longer.Is she ugly?
NO. Not at all.
She could pass for a black Venus.All big and beautiful.Where have all the roses gone?I believe the romance should not end after the honeymoon.In fact, the marriage should now be more enjoyable.

PLEASE, RETURN ALL THE MISSING KISSES

AND BUY HER MORE ROSES.

Please, if you know you are not going to make her happy all the rest of her days, don't marry her. Save her from the misery of a loveless marriage.

A man recently punched his wife to death in Northern Nigeria.I also have a friend who once practiced his Karate on the wife.A woman is always caught in Adultery.

Where is the man?Such absurdity annoys me. It is great injustice against women.

On lesbians or single women.Ask them if they are happy without a man.No woman can be really happy without a man.My mother was a grass widow during the Nigerian civil war and later, she was a widow for 10 years before she died in an auto-accident whilst on her way to work to earn wages to take care of six children.My father was a randy handsome man and he was seeing other women behind my mother's back. Poor woman. And she gave all her life to love a man that her wealthy family never wanted her to marry. Because, he was from a lower class. He did not fulfill all the promises he made to my mother.

I wrote from personal experiences.I wrote this poem and article in tears.I have been with widows and I have been with battered women.My cousin was pregnant when her husband kicked her whilst beating her and she died. He was not prosecuted and he remarried. Finis. But, I am still missing my cousin.

Are you male or female?Are you single or married?Are you available for me to prove it practically?Are you a feminist?I love women more than men.Left to women, there would have been no Holocaust.If not for Yuliya and the other women in Ukraine, Yushchenko would have lost the battle.I thank God for Women.The ratio of women to men in China is not a good yardstick to also assume that my statement is wrong.Every woman needs a man is not an assumption.But a fact of life even in the animal kingdom.For every woman, there is always the yearning for a man in a day, in a month or in a year.Ask any woman who has active senses of her organs in sensuality or sexuality.A woman without a man wets her pillows once in a while.A woman without a man fondles herself once in a while yearning for the touch of a man.Find me a woman who says she does not need a man, and I will show you a woman who has been deprived or depraved.

Please, read and empathize with her.And see yourself going through the motions of her emotions.

She rolled over
She was tired of sleeping with her.
She was feeling cold, real cold.
Sharon was by her side.
She did not want her now
She knew that one day she would bow.
She longed for the warmth she had never had for long.
All lovers knew the heartstrings of the song.
She was in the heat of summer
Only a man could drive away her fever.
Oh, God!Help me.
But her eyes were too blurred to see
The rays of light through the windows
She held on to the wet pillows.
She had been sobbing since the midnight hours.
She was sinking in the deep blue waters
She was drowning in the whirlpool of her doldrums
She was hearing echoes of the sounds in her eardrums.
Then, she reached for the pot
She wanted something very hot.
She puffed and puffed
She coughed and coughed.
Yet she was still feeling cold
She wanted a man to hold.
For only a man could wipe away these her Sapphic tears
These tears she has been shedding all these lonely years.
Every career woman and every lesbian have scary confessions
Of terrible depressions
Of many restless days and sleepless nights.
Only God knows the secrets of the heart of hearts.

I had a gay friend.He was a legal luminary in Nigeria.I have a female friend who finds it repulsive to let a man lie on her naked body. I am the only man closest to her. And since meeting her in 1997, she has not slept with any man. And I am still praying for her to find a man that will bear with her and love her and marry her. The experts said it is frigidity. Is it not more than that. I try to address it. But, I am not God. I am innocent of the functions and malfunctions of the human organs. I only try to tell them to conquer their fears.I had my own fears, but God helped me to overcome them.Because, I would have gone to the extremes even when I was only 11. And I thanked God I never did. There is no greater joy and peace than to be in love and to love a woman.

My mother was my muse until she died and my first love was until she got sick mentally when she returned home to Munich and got missing till date. She left work and she left home and was never seen again. And I blamed myself for not loving her enough.She heard of me and came to me and became my closest friend. We were both artists and poets and vegetarians. But, I refused to have a physical relationship with her, because of my Christian convictions. She was understanding and would bear with me. But, crisis broke out in Nigeria and we were about to go to war. Her mother and sister came to force her to return to Germany. I couldn't leave Nigeria. I just lost my mother in an auto-accident. And my mother was a widow and there are younger ones to take care of and it was in a state of crisis. I couldn't follow her to Munich. She left and wrote that she had problems readjusting and was now detached from her family. But, I did not care again. She had gone back to where she came from. That was all. Then, she wrote me that she was ill and left work and home. And later the family said she was missing. I have been searching for her till date.

This experience made me to be solitary and trying to understand psychological human problems. Depressions. My studies are documented in my story "Hysterics" like Franz Kafka's "Metamorphosis".Who is to blame for mental derangement?Why people enjoy being sex workers?Why a man speaks and behaves like a woman?One Nigerian female footballer just became a man recently and I am speechless.

Sometimes, I ask God questions.And I asked once that why not end it all?
Put man out of his misery.Because, I cannot bear the harrowing sights of the daily horrors and terrors.

Oh, God! You started it all, you have to solve it.
I hold on to God, in love and in peace, lest I will also go round the bend.Because, the world has become a big mess.Millions of human beings are messed up over their existential issues. Different religions, different politics, different sexual habits, and on and on...The more we are trying to solve and resolve one problem, another problem rears out its ugly head.

Suddenly HIV/AIDS erupted it!When I was about to sow my wild oats!I mean King Solomon had over 750 women and there was no HIV/AIDS.The publisher of Playboy said he had slept with about 10,000 different models before the HIV/AIDS pandemic.And when it was our turn in the late 80s to begin our own adventures of the discoveries of the beauty of the human body, HIV/AIDS came to scare us. And before you know it, I was selling condoms and preaching safer sex. And trying to put out the fire in my loins. And how hard to practice what you preach when you are an attractive sex symbol. Walking tall and very potent. How can man live on oranges alone?

The world is full of beautiful women! I have correspondences with those on a website for gays, lesbians and commercial sex workers.I was a crisis management counsellor for years.The long confessions will help you to understand me.Because, I believe in opening up my heart to free my mind, lest I choke. Besides, I am a professional storyteller.I love confessions and when I was still a Roman Catholic, I wanted to be a priest. No wonder, I became a counsellor. Confessions are good for the soul.
We are all innocent victims of Nature.

We did not ask to be created and we were created and we did not ask to be born and were born.And we soon find out that we have been trapped in a world that holds us to ransom.Sometimes, I believe Nature is the worst terrorist.Because, we are being terrorized everyday by the forces of Nature.For instance, the Ten Commandments are good enough. Then, the Church goes on to add other laws on the most natural passions of Human beings. No premarital sex, no drinking "hot" drinks and so on and forth. Then, the society adds it's own laws. And countries add their own laws.Laws, laws and more laws and yet the laws cannot control our flaws.Because, "when there was no law, there was no sin"And the earth had less wars then.We are now more violent than even the cave man!










submit to reddit

4 comments:

Zoe said...

Man perfected by society is the best of all animals; he is the most terrible of all when he lives without law, and without justice.
Lack of laws brings about chaos.
But bear in mind that laws are not made for the enlightened few.
But for the general masses.

There is much cruelty in this world. But do hold your head up high and believe it still is beautiful. Because it can be if we want it to be. You seem to be a sensitive, understanding and genuine person. Keep it up, you sure are a favor to this world. Your writing inspires many, and that in itself is a great gift you're giving and by it alleviate peoples sufferings..
Thanks once again.. and do not despair, for the sun is there, even when it rains.

EKENYERENGOZI Michael Chima said...

April Girl and Skyye.
For your words of appreciation are the flames of my inspiration.

Thanks always.

Let our light so shine for the whole world to see and give glory to God.

nauky said...

Cool Je.

We have made life so much more complex than it really is. All we had to do was live it...

EKENYERENGOZI Michael Chima said...

Merci.
Merci.
Merci.

The love you have shown me
Is greater than the love I am yet to see.