Tuesday, October 02, 2012

My Dear, What is An Unripe Banana Doing Under Your Pillow?

My Dear, What is An Unripe Banana Doing Under Your Pillow?

She told me to buy her bananas. She said they must be big bananas.
I agreed. I love bananas too. Yes, the big ones.
I know bananas are nutritious.
I have a recipe that I don’t share with small boys and small girls, because it is strictly for adults.
You need bananas, carrots, smoked groundnuts and alligator pepper for this adults only recipe.
It works better than Viagra and very cheap too.
“Darling, include some unripe bananas,” she said.
But why did she want unripe bananas too?
I bought and brought her the bananas.
We ate the ripe ones and she kept the unripe ones in the kitchen.
“I am not in hurry to eat these ones,” she said.

Two days later, I was visiting her and she was having her bath.
I decided to wait for her in the bedroom.
She joined and playfully I picked up one of the pillows on her bed and threw it at her. Then I saw one unripe banana under the pillow.
She made a funny face when I gave her an inquiringly look.
“My dear, what is an unripe banana doing under your pillow?”
She smirked coyly and I shook my head.
She knew that I could guess what this was all about. And I was pissed.

As statistics now show, Nigerian woman are perhaps the greatest users of sex toys in the world. As explained by Princess Sola Oladimeji in an article recently appearing in Nigerian World Newspaper, as chief executive officer of Oju-Ogeâ’s World, one of the more popular sex toys outlets in Nigeria, she’s witnessed first-hand the surge in the purchase of various types of sex toys in recent years. “There are a lot of women who kept several lovers before marriage and you know these men would come with various joystick sizes. So when such a woman gets married, she might end up with a man who may not satisfy her in bed. But in order not to commit adultery, she would resort to sex toys. It will satisfy her and also save her marriage.”

Why Nigerian Women Use Sex Toys

A trend also acknowledged by marriage therapist, Funmi Akingbade, Akingbade reports that while joystick size is one factor, many women who stay with their husbands are usually deprived of good sex for several other reasons. For instance, “Sometimes the man will have other women, especially the young girls outside and he won’t have time for his wife. Such men are always giving one excuse or the other to their wives when they get home,” Akingbade explains. “Another thing is that many of our men self-service, and are always in a rush when they want to have sex with their wives. They don’t have time for foreplay at all and therefore they hardly ever satisfy their wives. Many times many of these women come to me to assist them in purchasing sex toys for them.” Akingbade even cited the instance of a woman who claimed that her husband had encouraged her to buy the sex toys, telling her to think of him while using them.

Mr. Uche Edochie, the managing director of Zee Virtual Media, whose organization has been credited with popularizing zex toys and other adult products in Africa, adds some very revealing perspective. “In Nigerian society, men of status traditionally have more than one woman. In tribal times, having several wives was considered a sign of virility and intimate prowess. As the role of men has diminished in African society in general, and Nigerian society in specific, men feel powerless. It isn’t enough just to be head of the clan, he must have the power to hold position in his community. And this sometimes means taking women he cannot truly afford, expending resources and energy needed at home. In the end, it is the woman who suffers. Sex-starved, they are now turning to Romance-Machines and dildos to replace their men. ”


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