Friday, December 02, 2005

Pieces of my Heart

She always wanted to see me and be with me. So, I obliged.
Linda and I spent days and nights just sharing our thoughts and future plans.But, she was very worldly. She is totally ignorant of her spirit. So, we communed heart to heart. But not spirit to spirit. I simply came down to her temporal level.

I did not find her physically attractive. But, other men found her sexy.

One night, the body builder and body guard called "Voltron" came to see Linda in his BMW convertible. And he saw her drinking and eating. He said he was thirsty and wanted a drink. Linda said, "Chima brought me the drink and snacks." She gave him water and sent her only brother to buy him a drink. We all sat down to talk. And "Voltron" remarked that Linda has very attractive legs. And I showed them my own more attractive legs. Fair,smooth and spotless. But, later I thought it was wrong to have compared my legs to Linda's. Because, it is not good for a man to rate his looks above the looks of his female friend or lover. But,I only did that to let her know that the man was only flattering her.

Men who flatter you don't really love you.
That romantic cliche they used to flatter you has been repeated to scores of other girls and ladies they see as sex objects. But, most women make themselves willing sex objects.

"Uche is looking for you," my cousin said when I visited him.
"I have closed the chapter on Uche," I replied.

I have a perfect control over my passions or what I call affairs of the heart. Because, I can date a lady for a year and end it without any record of it in my diary. I dated a young college student who actually wanted to marry me. But, after having intimate communication with her and found that she would end up making my life miserable, I told her that I did not see her in my future and I erased all my records of her and closed the chapter. She sent me an e-mail and I replied with "God bless you" and then deleted her e-mail.

The other lady in my life was wondering why I kept away from her.

The fact is these ladies don't even know who I am. Even Linda who has known me since 1997. They choose to know their impression of what they want me to be. Boyfriend, lover or husband. But, they failed to try to understand who I am, heart and soul.
That is why millions of women married the wrong men and their marriages break down or break up.

You love the kisses and roses and enjoy the chocolate and cookies.
You take long walks and make love several times. But, all these things do not tell the truth above the heart and soul of the man. So, you have to look beyond these perishables and seek the imperishables of the true essence of our existence. The spirit of the soul.

My spirit controls me. And all the emotions and passions of life will vanish. But the spirit survives till the end.

You may win my heart and lose my spirit.

That is why I can remain faithful to God forever. And if I marry, I can remain faithful to my wife till the end.

Having sex is not the answer.
Saying "I love you" is not enough.

Let your spirit rule your heart.




Thirsting for God
To the chief Musician, Maschil, for the sons of Korah.


1 As the hart panteth after the water brooks,
so panteth my soul after thee, O God.


2 My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God:
when shall I come and appear before God?


3 My tears have been my meat day and night,
while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?


4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul in me:
for I had gone with the multitude,
I went with them to the house of God,
with the voice of joy and praise,
with a multitude that kept holyday.


5 Why art thou cast down, O my soul?
And why art thou disquieted in me?
Hope thou in God:
for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.


6 O my God, my soul is cast down within me:
therefore will I remember thee from the land of Jordan,
and of the Her'monites, from the hill Mizar.


7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts:
all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me.


8 Yet the LORD will command his loving-kindness in the daytime,
and in the night his song shall be with me,
and my prayer unto the God of my life.


9 I will say unto God my rock,
Why hast thou forgotten me?
Why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?


10 As with a sword in my bones, mine enemies reproach me;
while they say daily unto me, Where is thy God?


11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul?
And why art thou disquieted within me?
Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him,
who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 42,The Holy Bible: King James Version. 2000.

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