Saturday, July 23, 2011

Are you a Lover, Pander or Trader?

Photo Credit: Drea is Peeved.

Are you a Lover, Pander or Trader?

Yes. My dear, this is hard question and we cannot ignore it lest we fool ourselves.

Let us stop playing this silly games of fools in love.
For as fools lie, so fools die.
But life is more worthy than just lying and dying like dogs.

Are you a Lover, Pander or Trader?

Lest we continue to fool ourselves, let us look in the mirror and tell ourselves the truth in our relationship.
Of course, It is really cool and fanciful to say “I am in relationship” or “In open relationship” and call ourselves boyfriends and girlfriends, but the fact is many of those claiming to be lovers are actually panders or traders!

How are you panders or traders and not lovers?
Why are you doing what you are doing for your so called boyfriend or girlfriend?
Why are you giving her or him things in cash and kind?
Is it not pandering or trading for something in exchange or return?
Are you not actually doing it or paying her for something?
Why do most of them expect something in cash and kind for being your “girlfriend”?
You are paying the bills for dating her?
In a true loving relationship, love is a gift. You do not pay for it.
You exchange visits, dating and mating gratis.

If you are broke, she or he helps you as a true friend and helpmate and not used as a deposit for a future withdrawal.
You do not go out for nothing more than to bond with your lover and love each other for the joy of companionship and not taking advantage of it to earn a living or a for selfish gratification? That comes and goes and we move on to the next target?
Guys are hunting for preys and the girls are hawking their wares?

Hello boyfriend! If you are paying for dating her, then she is not your friend or lover, but a hawker or trader.
Has she ever gone out with you without you paying for it?
How many times bro?
Have you paid in arrears later?
“Don’t worry, I will make it up to you?”
What are you making up to her bro?
If you have to pay in cash or kind for it, then it is a trade by barter or otherwise.

Hello girlfriend! Save me the rhetoric of your so called affection.
Excuse me, baby. How many times have you simply gone out with him and not tasking him?
Must you go out with him in exchange for something?

Can you still be faithful to him if he cannot pay the bills for 12 months, because he is jobless?
What can you do to help him when he is broke?
Must he pander to your carnal needs and vanities?
Is your boyfriend really your lover, pander or trader?

Must a guy have sleepless night, because he is looking for cash to take you out?
Has an insult not followed after a gift sooner or later?
Then something is awfully wrong with such a gift in cash or kind if it would eventually lead to an insult, being hurt and heartbreak or headache.

Why not be happy visiting and spending time with him simply discussing the prospects of your mutual interests, caring and sharing precious moments even if the only thing he can offer you is a glass of water and listening to some music or reading a good book?
Would that not be romantic enough without going to the movies or clubs where there is even no privacy for quality time?

It is not the gifts and monies that matter in a boyfriend.
It is not the shopping, movies, parties or clubs that will make a happy relationship.
It is the precious moments you spend for intimacy in your privacy.
The precious moments you would wish should last forever.
Those who have experienced them would concur with me.
These precious moments cannot be bought or sold.

They are the moments the best thoughts are expressed in bonding and loving each other. When the deepest feelings glow in our hearts and gladden our souls and brighten our days.

But when we are more hooked on pandering and trading in dating, we lose these precious moments, because we are not doing what we confess and profess in romance for love, but for the profit of our selfish interest. And once we have done it and gotten it, the next thing is paying for one thing or another and shopping follows sooner or later.

So, think again.
Are you a Lover, Pander or Trader?

~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima
Saturday Morning of July 23, 2011.
Lagos, Nigeria.

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