She Gave Him All Her Love, But He Tore it To Shreds

Chioma was well educated and from a rich family, but he was not well educated and was a poor driver from a poor family, yet she gave him her heart and soul. He was not God fearing and had loose morals. They have been dating since 2005, but his infidelity hurt her badlly. He was seeing and sleeping with another woman and even moved his things into the woman's residence. She was disappointed and left Nigeria for the UK. She wanted to break up with him, but he came back begging for her forgiveness when she returned and she gave in to him. She was very good in bed and was willing to satisfy him anytime he wanted sex. She gave him whatever would make him comfortable, because she truly loved him and wanted to be his wife for life.

He was very possessive and jealous. He felt uncomfortable anytime he saw her in the company of her male colleagues and beat her up after he saw her male colleague in her flat. She was pissed and took back the key she gave him to have access to her flat. He later pleaded for mercy and she was willing to forgive him. He seemed to be ready to make amends and he was even going to a popular pentecostal church with his aunt and they got engaged to wed last April. Then he did the worst when he was caught sleeping with the wife of a senior official in the LNG company where both of them were working. He had been seducing the wives of his bosses whilst on official duty as their chauffeur and nemesis had caught up with him. She was heart broken. The husband of the woman he slept with was so ashamed that he asked for transfer and left without the adulterous wife. The sex scandal shook the whole management and Chioma was too ashamed to hold her head high in office. This heartless driver fooled her. This was the last straw. Chioma resigned and left Nigeria for the UK without even telling us.


I felt sorry for Chioma as Jennifer and I discussed the romantic predicament of having a relationship with a man who is like a reed in a quicksand. He was unfaithful and unworthy of being trusted with such a precious heart.
"I hope she finds her true love in the UK," I said.
"No man tramples on the heart of a woman and escapes the grave consequences," Jennifer said.
She was missing Chioma who was very close to her and she had wished that Chioma would wed after her own wedding last year.
"That is why it is always good to look before you plunge into the swimming pool of romance, lest you end up swimming in the murky waters of shame and slime," I said.

N.B:
This is a true story and the events happened in Rivers state, Nigeria. I have changed the real names of the people mentioned in the details.

Is It Wrong To Ask About The Characters of the Ex-Lovers of Your Girlfriend?

Is It Wrong To Ask About The Characters of the Ex-Lovers of Your Girlfriend?

I am a writer and writers are naturally very inquisitive and receptive.
We like investigations.
Investigations and questions have given answers and solutions to the numerous problems of life on earth.

I asked my "wife" about the kind of men her ex-boyfriends were and even asked her how she has been relating with them.
Is she still communicating with them or not?
Is she having any other lover or lovers?
Simple fact-finding questions.

I am very open minded and transparent.

I usually ask her if she has dated or even slept with another man or men behind my back, so that I would be warned before sleeping with her to avoid contracting whatever she might have contracted from another man or men.
But she became angry.
But I did not mean any harm.

I told her my life and future meant the whole world to me and it would be foolish and stupid to let illicit sex ruin my life.
So, it is only wise to ask life saving questions on sexual relationships between your regular lover and other lovers.
It would be foolish and stupid to believe that your partner can never have an affair.

It is important to me, because I am far away from her and I have only slept with her twice since we met two years ago and she iis the only woman I have slept with since 1999 to date.

I can vouch for myself since I know myself and my medical history.

Why I prefer to remain faithful to one woman is for the great fear of STDs, AIDS and other known and unknown elements one can contract through sexual relationships.

I know how wayward men and women could be since Adam and Eve.

A man may be married to an Alpha Woman who is well educated and of high class, but he can still be foolish and stupid to sleep with a prostitute like the disgraced former governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer.

I find it shocking for a man to mess around with any monkey and ape in skirts or pants and still go and sleep with his Alpha woman.

Have you ever paused to ponder how those mad women still get pregnant on the street?
The same man who slept with the mad woman and impregnated her would have returned home to sleep with his wife or his girlfriend.

I have a cousin who slept with the street girls in Lagos city and returned home to sleep with his wife who is a senior manager in one of the biggest companies in Nigeria. She went to the best universities in Nigeria and she is very beautiful and faithful to him, but he will disrespect her to the extent of messing aroud with half-educated ugly girls I cannot even shake their hands!

What of the dashing Nigerian banker who has an equally successful girlfriend or fiancée, but does not care to sleep with the young woman hawking oranges at the bus stop?

There are so many baffling or appalling horrible and terrible things humans do for sex.
In 30 minutes it would be over, but the consequences could do you more harm than good.
Think twice before you sleep with anybody, regardless of their looks or class.

We need to fear all these dangers and consequences of illicit sexual intercourse. So, you have the right to ask all the necessary questions and do all the necessary investigations for your own safety and security before marriage and during marriage.

I respect women and actually put them on a high pedestal, but once I discover that you do not have scruples and you can sleep and mess around with any man without any dignity and integrity, I will disgrace you.

You can be safe, but do you know if he is safe?
Forget all the sweet words and lies.
Forget all the expensive gifts and outings.
Forget the dashing looks, posh cars and luxury apartments.
Do you know the characters he has been sleeping with before you and even while still seeing you?

I knew a Nigerian billionaire who had beautiful wives from the upper class and he was still sleeping with dirty women in unhygienic places.

The sooner we expose these characters, the better and safer others would be, lest they continue fooling and harming the ignorant ones.

It is only wise to ask my "wife" sensitive questions after 19 months apart.

If I can be faithful, that does not mean she can be as faithful as I am, because we are two different human personalities and I cannot use my standards to judge her.

"Have you had fun with any other man or men in my absence?"
It is a good and safe question to ask her.
Your future will be more secure if both of you are open minded.
There cannot be trust when one of the partners is not honest and transparent or is afraid of the truth.
No truth, no trust.

A girlfriend was seeing me years ago, but I did not want to sleep with her, because if I have no intention of marrying a woman, I will not sleep with her. She met one of my cousins and slept with him. I only asked her if she loved him and she nodded affirmatively. She has her life to live.
When my cousin dumped her, I still comforted her until she chose to go out with one of my Muslim friends and I did not stop her.

My life is very simple.
I only ask for two things.
Honesty and transparency.

If you have anything for or against me, spell or spill it out and let us deal with it before it is too late. But if you are dishonest and not transparent that would be bad and then you are unrepentant, you have only made the case worse.

There is nothing wrong in discussing sexual relationships with your partner.

"Yes darling. I had an affair while you were away."
"I hope you did not contract any disease or even demomic elements?"

Call it infidelity, betrayal or whatever label in the dictionary, but confessing your wrong doing or sin would be better than concealing it.

The word of God says, we should confess our sins to one another and forgive each other.

He who conceals his sins does not prosper,
but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
~ Proverbs 28:13 (New International Version)

If you are unfaithful to your partner, please confess the truth to him or her.
Covering or hiding it will only make things worse whenever he or she finds out.

Please, if your partner has been unfaithful, forgive your partner once he or she confesses and repents.
Continue with your partner or move on with another worthy partner.
Do not make things worse by harming him or her.

My life means more to me than having a heart attack over sex.

There is nothing wrong in asking your partner whether he or she has been faithful to you or not.

Free your mind of the festering thorns in your heart.

There are no roses without thorns.
Remove the thorns and you will have a bountiful bouquet of beautiful roses, that would be a delight to sight and a joy in your heart.

Life goes on.

Recommended Reading: Scarlet Tears of London