KINI BIG DEAL?
Is our local Lagos Yoruba Pidgin English slang meaning What is the big deal?.
Guys love chasing pretty and sexy babes to date them more for sex than anything else and I have noticed that they later don't get excited about loving them after they have slept with them.
In fact, the guy that was calling the babe many times to ask her out is now sometimes hissing and saying that she is disturbing him and in many cases he will simply dump her and move on to his next target in his romantic pursuits.
To majority of girls and women, romance is the pursuit of happiness and to them regular sex does not mean happiness, but being peaceful and secure with their guy means more to them than sex. But to majority of guys, romance to them is the pursuit of regular sex and powered by their libido. That is why you see many guys who don't even care about the grades of their girlfriends or their career prospects as long as they are giving them regular sex.
I have seen a pathetic case where the babe could not even discuss her academic and professional assignments with the guy, because he never showed any interest. And he is a boyfriend?
When your passion in any relationship is nothing more than sex, then you will never have a fulfilled love life. And that is why you will end up flirting, cheating and even ending your relationship or becoming bored and miserable in marriage.
I don't understand why a guy cannot be happy and merry with his girlfriend or wife without sex?
I dated a very pretty and sexy big girl for over two years and we had great fun all over Lagos and we abstained from sex, because I wanted to avoid fornication and believe it or not she was faithful even though other guys harassed her for sex, because their fantasy was to sleep with her. She was really hotter than summer and sometimes she would go out only in an over-sized T-shirt without any underwear and made the guys drool with stiff Attention and we often laughed at them. My male cousins and friends begged me to take her out and I allowed them and sometimes she even took them along in her own car. But they gave up when she refused to sleep with them. To them, just enjoying her friendship would not be enough.
"I just want to sleep with her," is a common phrase among guys. And it can be really annoying to hear them saying it in reference to a girl or a woman, because it shows lack of dignity and respect.
Like Igbo guys who say they can sleep with Yoruba girls or women, but cannot marry them.
Is that not a silly attitude? It is really nonsense.
It is silly to say a girl or a woman is only good for you to sleep with her, but not good enough to be your wife?
Who are you fooling?
I have seen a case where a guy dumped a girl after using her as his sex object for years and later said she was not a wife material. But she later married a man who loved her and he was a better and richer guy than the silly ex-boyfriend and in fact, her husband could pay the poor guy's salary ten times.
A guy who uses his girlfriend as sex material and then say she is not a wife material is to me a FOOL.
To God, any girl or woman you choose to sleep with is as good as being your wife.
There is no girl or woman good enough to be your lover that cannot be your wife if you truly love her.
"She does not have character,' a silly guy would whine.
And you have been dating her?
This attitude is most common among Nigerian men, because majority of them are hypocrites.
The same guy will later go and marry another girlfriend who is even worse, because in most cases, the cannot even define character.
It is most common among Igbo guys and they can be really funny.
"She does not have character," is in most cases an excuse for their own shortcomings in proving that they can be Mr. Capable.
These are the kind of guys whose passion for a girlfriend reduces after having sex with her many times and will end up cheating on her or later cheating on their wives in marriage, because intellectually they have little or nothing to offer in relationship and marriage, except making women pregnant and becoming fathers. And that is why you can see that the greatest achievement of majority of these Nigerian men is becoming fathers of many children and increasing the population of their communities.
Your passion for a babe cannot reduce if you can add more value to her life beyond just pouring your sperm into her uterus.
The passion for your girlfriend or wife reduces after sleeping with her several times and that is why most men start straying into the temptations of cheating on their babes and wives. And even go as low as sleeping with their housemaids, total strangers they meet on the street (picking up girls on the road) and at night clubs. Some have even tried to hit on the friends and sisters of their girlfriends and wives.
So, guys denying this fact are just lying.
Only few guys remain excited to sleep with their babes or wives in every season.
Many boyfriends and husbands have not slept with their girlfriends and wives for weeks, months and even years.
I have seen pathetic cases of several sex starved girlfriends and wives.
In fact, the girlfriend of a buddy got so frustrated that she came to my residence and pulled off her top and wanted me to sleep with her. I refused, but I never told her boyfriend till date.
Many girlfriends and wives later become unattractive to their men, because the guys have seen prettier and sexier babes.
Sometimes, the girlfriends and wives make themselves unattractive by simply giving up making themselves attractive after hooking or getting married to a guy.
They lose their sexy figure.
They don't maintain that hot look that attracted their guys to come for them.
They sooner or later start to even misbehave and turn off their guys.
After working so hard to hook a hot chick and got her, she later started showing some habits I never noticed before when she was only visiting.
She would use the toilet without washing her hands.
She would use my towel to clean her womanliness and hang it again for me to use it after bathing.
And she loved to argue aloud.
My passion waned and I politely left her with the good excuse of spiritual abstinence and she could not abstain with me and it was good riddance to bad rubbish.
No matter how much you love a girlfriend or wife, your passion for her will reduce once she loses what attracted you to date her or marry her.
~ By Orikinla Osinachi.
Books by Orikinla Osinachi