Chioma was well educated and from a rich family, but he was not well educated and was a poor driver from a poor family, yet she gave him her heart and soul. He was not God fearing and had loose morals. They have been dating since 2005, but his infidelity hurt her badlly. He was seeing and sleeping with another woman and even moved his things into the woman's residence. She was disappointed and left Nigeria for the UK. She wanted to break up with him, but he came back begging for her forgiveness when she returned and she gave in to him. She was very good in bed and was willing to satisfy him anytime he wanted sex. She gave him whatever would make him comfortable, because she truly loved him and wanted to be his wife for life.
He was very possessive and jealous. He felt uncomfortable anytime he saw her in the company of her male colleagues and beat her up after he saw her male colleague in her flat. She was pissed and took back the key she gave him to have access to her flat. He later pleaded for mercy and she was willing to forgive him. He seemed to be ready to make amends and he was even going to a popular pentecostal church with his aunt and they got engaged to wed last April. Then he did the worst when he was caught sleeping with the wife of a senior official in the LNG company where both of them were working. He had been seducing the wives of his bosses whilst on official duty as their chauffeur and nemesis had caught up with him. She was heart broken. The husband of the woman he slept with was so ashamed that he asked for transfer and left without the adulterous wife. The sex scandal shook the whole management and Chioma was too ashamed to hold her head high in office. This heartless driver fooled her. This was the last straw. Chioma resigned and left Nigeria for the UK without even telling us.
I felt sorry for Chioma as Jennifer and I discussed the romantic predicament of having a relationship with a man who is like a reed in a quicksand. He was unfaithful and unworthy of being trusted with such a precious heart.
"I hope she finds her true love in the UK," I said.
"No man tramples on the heart of a woman and escapes the grave consequences," Jennifer said.
She was missing Chioma who was very close to her and she had wished that Chioma would wed after her own wedding last year.
"That is why it is always good to look before you plunge into the swimming pool of romance, lest you end up swimming in the murky waters of shame and slime," I said.
N.B:
This is a true story and the events happened in Rivers state, Nigeria. I have changed the real names of the people mentioned in the details.
Showing posts with label infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infidelity. Show all posts
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries describes one couple's journey as they struggle with sexual identity and how it conflicts with right and wrong. More than 4 million women are currently or have been married to either a gay or bisexual man. Often the gay spouse feels forced by societal and family pressures into marriage, suppressing his true feelings in order to be socially accepted by appearing "straight." However, in secret these men cheat on their wives by conducting affairs with members of the same sex. This day-by-day memoir diary includes actual daily e-mails and correspondence between the author, Dennis Schleicher, and his 14-year married boyfriend. Will his boyfriend leave his wife and confess to her his love and desire to live with another man, or will he be trapped in his own insecurities and not move to a side of life he has kept hidden all of these years, risking the loss of his potential "soulmate"? Every married and single woman and male and/or those engaged in a relationship will learn the truth about two loving people who are highly challenged to reveal their innermost souls in order to "survive."
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Top 12 Myths about Cheating
By Tracey Cox
Do men cheat more often than women? Should you confess if you've had an affair? Is cheating always about sex? Read on for the top 12 infidelity myths and the truth—or lack thereof!—behind them.
Myth #1: People cheat because they're unhappy at home.
If you're female, this is usually the case. Women in long-term marriages who are having affairs report low satisfaction with their marriage. For men, on the other hand, that's not necessarily the case. Many men who love their partners and have great sex at home never turn down an opportunity for a bit on the side if they think they can get away with it. In one study, 56 percent of cheating men surveyed said their marriages were very happy. Only 34 percent of unfaithful women agreed.
Myth #2: Men cheat much more than women do.
This used to be the case, but now the infidelity scales are balancing out. Why? Women cheat for the same reasons as men: It's someone new. It's naughty (and therefore nice). But there are other reasons women cite: The affair was a "reward" for being an unappreciated wife and mother or for putting up with a partner who wasn't affectionate, didn't listen or ignored them. It was an "ego boost." (Gone are the days when we'd treat ourselves to a new lipstick or haircut to cheer ourselves up.) We're still not as blase about affairs as men—women are more likely to feel guilty—but given that studies show we're much better at lying, we're alsomore likely to get away with it.
It's also a myth that it's men who try to turn friendships into affairs. Most unfaithful men see affairs as high opportunity and low involvement. On the contrary, it tends to be women who push platonic relationships from friendship to love and fantasy to reality, according to psychologists. Women get more emotionally involved and are keen to test out friendships to determine if they'd make for better relationships than their current situations. So she's often seeking a potential soul mate; he's just having fun.
Myth #3: Affairs are mostly about sex.
Some affairs are about sex and most certainly include sex because sex with someone else is forbidden, making it very appealing. But sex is not always the reason people cheat. Affairs are a way for people to get something they're not getting from the relationship they're in. It's that simple. What's not so simple is defining what it is that's missing. In fact, oftentimes the cheating partner isn't aware of it. Some people are searching for something they lost as a child, others for lost youth. Some people cheat on "perfect" partners because they're sick of perfection. It's not always about sex.
Myth #4: If he cheats on you, he doesn't love you.
It may feel that way, but it's not necessarily the case. It does, however, mean he doesn't respect you enough to honor the commitment you've made to one another and that he has a different value system than yours. Some people are more than capable of separating sex from love and physically sleeping with someone else doesn't affect their love for you. Generally, men tend to have sex-based affairs, not emotional or "love-based" affairs. But, the decision you need to make is whether his definition of love is enough for you.
Continue reading
Do men cheat more often than women? Should you confess if you've had an affair? Is cheating always about sex? Read on for the top 12 infidelity myths and the truth—or lack thereof!—behind them.
Myth #1: People cheat because they're unhappy at home.
If you're female, this is usually the case. Women in long-term marriages who are having affairs report low satisfaction with their marriage. For men, on the other hand, that's not necessarily the case. Many men who love their partners and have great sex at home never turn down an opportunity for a bit on the side if they think they can get away with it. In one study, 56 percent of cheating men surveyed said their marriages were very happy. Only 34 percent of unfaithful women agreed.
Myth #2: Men cheat much more than women do.
This used to be the case, but now the infidelity scales are balancing out. Why? Women cheat for the same reasons as men: It's someone new. It's naughty (and therefore nice). But there are other reasons women cite: The affair was a "reward" for being an unappreciated wife and mother or for putting up with a partner who wasn't affectionate, didn't listen or ignored them. It was an "ego boost." (Gone are the days when we'd treat ourselves to a new lipstick or haircut to cheer ourselves up.) We're still not as blase about affairs as men—women are more likely to feel guilty—but given that studies show we're much better at lying, we're alsomore likely to get away with it.
It's also a myth that it's men who try to turn friendships into affairs. Most unfaithful men see affairs as high opportunity and low involvement. On the contrary, it tends to be women who push platonic relationships from friendship to love and fantasy to reality, according to psychologists. Women get more emotionally involved and are keen to test out friendships to determine if they'd make for better relationships than their current situations. So she's often seeking a potential soul mate; he's just having fun.
Myth #3: Affairs are mostly about sex.
Some affairs are about sex and most certainly include sex because sex with someone else is forbidden, making it very appealing. But sex is not always the reason people cheat. Affairs are a way for people to get something they're not getting from the relationship they're in. It's that simple. What's not so simple is defining what it is that's missing. In fact, oftentimes the cheating partner isn't aware of it. Some people are searching for something they lost as a child, others for lost youth. Some people cheat on "perfect" partners because they're sick of perfection. It's not always about sex.
Myth #4: If he cheats on you, he doesn't love you.
It may feel that way, but it's not necessarily the case. It does, however, mean he doesn't respect you enough to honor the commitment you've made to one another and that he has a different value system than yours. Some people are more than capable of separating sex from love and physically sleeping with someone else doesn't affect their love for you. Generally, men tend to have sex-based affairs, not emotional or "love-based" affairs. But, the decision you need to make is whether his definition of love is enough for you.
Continue reading
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
We Should Not Welcome Unfaithful Men and Unfaithful Women
We Should Not Welcome Unfaithful Men And Unfaithful Women.
You know you cannot be faithful to your partner, please leave before it is too late.
If you are being abused or misused in a relationship before marriage, please leave and don't make the mistake of wedding an abusive man or woman.
I abhor unfaithful men and women.
Many unfaithful men and women lie to deceive and lure ignorant and innocent men and women into relationships.
The following dialogue is very common among unfaithful lovers and partners.
‘ Do you have a boyfriend?"
“ No."
“ Do you have a girlfriend?"
“ No."
“ Are you married or in a relationship?"
“ No."
In the late 1990s, after my German partner returned to Munich and went missing, many of the local girls and women crept into my life and most of them left when I did not have any relationship with them until I met one appealing young lady from Edo state. She was tall and slim and I wanted her. She was brought to our uncle's house by the girlfriend of my cousin, a popular Nollywood actor. I did not waste time in winning her the same day we met on a Friday and on Monday; I wanted to sleep with her. She said it was too early to do so and I agreed, but she obliged to show me her beautiful body. As I explored her body, she was turned on and wanted me to make love to her. I was happy to do so and she said my manhood was too big for her and I stopped. She asked me to continue and I refused.
Whilst I was walking with her on the street in our neighbourhood, a short Igbo man came to her and asked her where she had been.
“ Becky, where did you go? And you took the key with you?"
She brought out the key and handed it to the man.
Later she told me that she was living with the man and they were live-in lovers, but she did not love him and would prefer to marry me.
I did not like the fact that she never told me that she had a boyfriend who accommodated and fed her. I felt sorry for the man she betrayed, I politely left her, and until date, I have never looked for her.
If she did not love the man, she should not have lived with him and pretending to love him.
There was another woman who is a popular fashion designer in Lagos and is married with three beautiful daughters and two handsome sons. I knew the husband who was tall and good-looking. Their first daughter who is now 20 and at Covenant University was very excited every time I visited and loved to read novels. I love girls and women who love literature, so we became close. I was very popular for my company of models and actors and she wanted me to tickle her fancy.
The mother told me that my slim and trim body excited her and I knew she wanted a relationship. She wanted us to go places together. When her husband left for Japan, she intensified her efforts to become my lover, but I stopped all her amourous overtures.
If I committed adultery with her, I would have committed fornication with her daughter. I walked far away for my own good.
Three other married women I had to flee from were even as dangerous as desperate housewives. One of them was a model and ruined my Valentine's Day four years ago as she visited me whilst I was relaxing with my Val, a beautiful Igbo Princess and an attorney. She ignored my Val and insisted that I must make love to her. I took her into the study, pecked her, and told her to leave. But she refused until my Val and I left the flat. Later, she went to confront my Val and wanted to discourage her from becoming my girlfriend. So, I went to her residence to see her husband and five children. They were poor and the husband was a very quiet man. I advised her to be faithful to her husband and help him to bring up their lovely children. I kept away from her.
I have seen women having extra-marital affairs for no good reason.
They were driven by their childish and foolish lust.
We should not welcome unfaithful men and unfaithful women.
~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima/Orikinla Osinachi
The Editor of The Language of True Love
You know you cannot be faithful to your partner, please leave before it is too late.
If you are being abused or misused in a relationship before marriage, please leave and don't make the mistake of wedding an abusive man or woman.
I abhor unfaithful men and women.
Many unfaithful men and women lie to deceive and lure ignorant and innocent men and women into relationships.
The following dialogue is very common among unfaithful lovers and partners.
‘ Do you have a boyfriend?"
“ No."
“ Do you have a girlfriend?"
“ No."
“ Are you married or in a relationship?"
“ No."
In the late 1990s, after my German partner returned to Munich and went missing, many of the local girls and women crept into my life and most of them left when I did not have any relationship with them until I met one appealing young lady from Edo state. She was tall and slim and I wanted her. She was brought to our uncle's house by the girlfriend of my cousin, a popular Nollywood actor. I did not waste time in winning her the same day we met on a Friday and on Monday; I wanted to sleep with her. She said it was too early to do so and I agreed, but she obliged to show me her beautiful body. As I explored her body, she was turned on and wanted me to make love to her. I was happy to do so and she said my manhood was too big for her and I stopped. She asked me to continue and I refused.
Whilst I was walking with her on the street in our neighbourhood, a short Igbo man came to her and asked her where she had been.
“ Becky, where did you go? And you took the key with you?"
She brought out the key and handed it to the man.
Later she told me that she was living with the man and they were live-in lovers, but she did not love him and would prefer to marry me.
I did not like the fact that she never told me that she had a boyfriend who accommodated and fed her. I felt sorry for the man she betrayed, I politely left her, and until date, I have never looked for her.
If she did not love the man, she should not have lived with him and pretending to love him.
There was another woman who is a popular fashion designer in Lagos and is married with three beautiful daughters and two handsome sons. I knew the husband who was tall and good-looking. Their first daughter who is now 20 and at Covenant University was very excited every time I visited and loved to read novels. I love girls and women who love literature, so we became close. I was very popular for my company of models and actors and she wanted me to tickle her fancy.
The mother told me that my slim and trim body excited her and I knew she wanted a relationship. She wanted us to go places together. When her husband left for Japan, she intensified her efforts to become my lover, but I stopped all her amourous overtures.
If I committed adultery with her, I would have committed fornication with her daughter. I walked far away for my own good.
Three other married women I had to flee from were even as dangerous as desperate housewives. One of them was a model and ruined my Valentine's Day four years ago as she visited me whilst I was relaxing with my Val, a beautiful Igbo Princess and an attorney. She ignored my Val and insisted that I must make love to her. I took her into the study, pecked her, and told her to leave. But she refused until my Val and I left the flat. Later, she went to confront my Val and wanted to discourage her from becoming my girlfriend. So, I went to her residence to see her husband and five children. They were poor and the husband was a very quiet man. I advised her to be faithful to her husband and help him to bring up their lovely children. I kept away from her.
I have seen women having extra-marital affairs for no good reason.
They were driven by their childish and foolish lust.
We should not welcome unfaithful men and unfaithful women.
~ By Ekenyerengozi Michael Chima/Orikinla Osinachi
The Editor of The Language of True Love
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)